
Anyone who knows me well knows the the following facts about me: I am loud, I am gregarious, I am outgoing, I am friendly, I talk to strangers. All of these traits are nothing sort of a recipe for disaster.
On lovely Friday evening, while enjoying a piece of chocolate cake with my son and my friend Kymm I was asked the question that suckers me every time by a complete stranger: "Hey, we're from out of town. What is there to do here?" I LOVE my city, especially downtown and will spend the next 45 minutes of my life proceeding that question reviewing the many gems our city has to offer.
The inquiring man, Leo, advised that he was the trainer for the visiting team who was set to play the Boise Burn the following night his cohort identified himself as Wiley, but did not indicate his affiliation with the team. Both were dressed head to toe in the teams apparel and very polite and appreciative of my willingness to help them plan their night in Boise. At the end of the conversation, Leo asked if we'd like tickets to the following night's game for our kindness. I obliged and we exchanged phone numbers so he could arrange to have the tickets for me at will call the next night. Before leaving, Wiley took his hat off his head, autographed it and gave it to my son. At the time, I was blown away by such a sweet gesture. My son was stoked, unbeknownst to him he was being used as Wiley's wingman. I thank him for his kind gesture, and we part ways.
About 20 minutes later I receive the following text: "hey gurl, its wiley. leo gave me your number. your kid is super cute i hope he enjoys the hat n the game tomorrow"
I reply: "Yeah, he loves it! That was super sweet, thanks! See you tomorrow, have fun tonight!" We share a few more texts back and forth, he keeps hinting to the fact that he's a player for the team (upon later verification, he was not listed on ANY team roster, but Leo did turn out to be legit.) Unimpressed by his "I'm a big deal attitude," I lose interest in the conversation.
**Queue the aggressive retexting.** There is nothing worse than a re-texter. If someone does not reply to a text, resending 5 times, or rephrasing and then resending will probably not secure you a response either. From the point I stop replying to him I receive 52 more texts over the night, and 3 voicemails. Some examples: "stina, at china blue. you're right, it's fun! come down!" "damn girl, you were looking good today" "bring some ladies for my buds and lets after party at the hotel" "do you like vodka? we've got a bottle in our room" **Keep in mind most of those were sent several times each**
At about 1 am, he realizes his tactics aren't working and tries his previous angle: "where's a good place for late night snacks?" "hey, we want a good dive bar." "hey does pizza deliver this late in boise?" "i might be able to arrange for you and your kid to meet all the players tomorrow" "think your son would like a signed ball from the team?" "what size shirt does your kid wear? i'll get him one to wear for tomorrow" The texting continued until 4 am and started again at 9 am the next day. Needless to say, I never spoke to Wiley again and did not attend the game the following night.
Now, I try to wrap up every story with a moral so that hopefully the world can be a better place to date for us all. This guy was off on so many levels that I have several for you fine readers:
1. Do not lie and say you are someone or something you are not. It's tacky.
2. Do not re-text, or send more than 3 texts in a row without an answer.
3. If someone gives you a phone number for a legitimate reason, don't give it to your buddy. Make him man up and ask for it themselves.
4. Never leave more than 1 voicemail a night for someone, ESPECIALLY if you just met them.
5. Don't text unprovoked past midnight, and especially past 2 am. It's rude.
6. If you keep someone up annoying them until 4am, the least you could do is let them sleep in the next day and not text before noon.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
7. Do NOT use people children as pawns in your evil plans to lock it down. It's wrong, just sayin' x 7